


what if I said

by redhoodedwolf



Series: Sterek Week '15 [6]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Derek Hale Deserves Nice Things, Derek Hale doesn't believe he deserves nice things, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Derek, Song fic, Sterekweek, and Stiles tells him so, but some fluff, happy/hopeful ending, mostly angst, songs to fall in love to, written somewhat poetically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 20:38:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5104949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redhoodedwolf/pseuds/redhoodedwolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This morning, Derek woke up alone in his bed and felt content for the first time in a long while. In many cases, this would be the opposite of a problem. But Derek isn't used to bone-deep happiness. He didn't expect to live a life where someone genuinely loves him.<br/>As much as Derek loves Stiles, he has to stop this before it becomes a thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	what if I said

**Author's Note:**

> Sterek Week Day 6: Songs To Fall In Love To  
> Based on Banks' You Should Know Where I'm Coming From  
> You can listen to it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQDoIzNKVSY

            Derek has spent the last hour in contemplation.

            Last night, Stiles turned 18. Last night, Stiles kissed him. Last night, Stiles told Derek he loved him. Last night, Derek kissed him back. Last night, Derek told Stiles he loved him too. Last night they didn't have sex.

            This morning, Derek woke up alone in his bed and felt content for the first time in a long while. In many cases, this would be the opposite of a problem. But Derek isn't used to bone-deep happiness. He didn't expect to live a life where someone genuinely loves him.

            As much as Derek loves Stiles, and it is more than he ever thought he would, he has to stop this before it becomes a thing.

            Maybe he could tell Stiles that it wouldn't work out, that he would break his heart. Derek is too mean of a person, he's not good for Stiles' kind-heartedness.

            Maybe he could convince him that he would drive Stiles crazy. Being shoved into this world of the supernatural was, ultimately, Derek's fault. Stiles had already been possessed once. Who is to say that the next thing to come into town won't cause even worse mind-altering problems? It would be, is, Derek's fault. Stiles shouldn't have to go through more of that, this.

            Maybe he could convince Stiles that he needs to get out of this world of werewolves. That he should go off to college, gain other human friends, pursue healthy relationships. Derek is crazy, he's not healthy to be with. Stiles deserves better than him.

            Maybe he could convince Stiles that he hadn't meant it, that he loves him. He was too caught up in the moment. He's better off alone, in solitude, where his life can't effect anyone else. Stiles should be with someone who wants to be around him all the time.

            Maybe he could play the 'destructive' card. His actions caused the burning of his house and home, family. Every piece of him burned with them, he is just scraps of a human being. Stiles knows his story, he would understand. He knows how little human Derek is.

            Maybe he could tell him that he isn't ready. Got caught up in the mess of feelings without remembering that he isn't ready for anyone, will never be ready, he's too young. Stiles should be with someone who can love him now.

            Maybe he could prove that he's not anything more than sticks and bricks of human matter, feelings and wolf instincts shoved into a being, that's all he is. He's not a good person, he's careless and ruthless and Stiles should run far from him because Derek was horrible enough to deceive him.

            Maybe he would leave. Not give Stiles the chance, just up and go. Forget the excuses, vanish. Leave the new man with nothing but an empty loft and useless key.

            Maybe--

            "Hey."

            Derek hadn't even heard him come in.

            "Hey," he breathes.

            Stiles shuffles over towards him, his long fingers shoved into his pockets. He looks the same as he did yesterday, a youthful flush to his cheeks. It smells like he had a slice of cake for breakfast. Butter cream frosting.

            "Trying to think of a way to get me to dump you before we even date?"

            Derek startles. He opens his mouth, but he can't deny the truth. He shuts it.

            Stiles shrugs and takes a seat next to him. "It's okay. I expected this." Derek isn't surprised. Stiles is smart, so smart. "How many excuses had you gotten up to before I interrupted?"

            "Eight," Derek admits, because Stiles can already see his soul.

            Stiles clucks his tongue. "That's more than I thought. But eight kisses is a workable number."

            Stiles leaned in and kissed Derek eight times. Derek kissed Stiles back eight times.

            "Still feel like punching yourself?" Stiles asks.

            "Yes," Derek replies.

            "Okay," Stiles concedes, but takes Derek's hand in his own. "But I'm not giving up on you. Every excuse you give, every "maybe" is only going to tie me closer to you. Because it goes without saying, but apparently it hasn't ever been said to you so I'm going to say it anyway: Derek Hale, you deserve nice things."

            Derek shakes his head. He's not a person enough.

            "You don't have to believe me right now," Stiles says. "If you did you would be lying. But I am a nice thing. I'm not a nice person, obviously. But I'm your one nice thing. If you only have me, that's okay. We'll work to let you have two, then three, then all nice things. But you'll at least have one."

            Stiles' voice is soothing and calm, but leaves no room for an argument.

            "You know me," Derek tries.

            "I do."

            A ninth kiss presses against his lips. Derek kisses back.

            A light sense of finality settles into Derek's stomach. He looks down at Stiles' hand gently holding his own. He sees the empty bed across the room, its sheets rumpled. He looks at Stiles.

            "Okay."

            Stiles grins. Derek smiles back.

**Author's Note:**

> There's more of this madness on my tumblr at redhoodedwolf


End file.
